What not to wear this year

Some people look good in white cowboy boots with fringe—Chloe Sevigny and the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, perhaps. Some people pluck their eyebrows to a thin wisp and resemble Carole Lombard—Drew Barrymore on a good day. Some people even look all right in beige leather pants—Giselle Bundchen, and only her. But these people are the lucky exceptions.

Fashion don’ts exist to protect us from ourselves. They help to stop a trend before it becomes a fashion virus or to officially bury a look that has exhausted its charms. Women ought to consider themselves lucky. We are no longer obliged to wear step-in corsets, rock-hard beehives and pencil skirts to the office. Clothes don’t limit our movement or mold our bodies in the way that they used to, but there are certain standards of modern elegance that are in timely need of question.

My don’t list is not proscriptive, it’s provocative. Just imagine a week without blow-drying your hair or donning a thong. Sweet liberty! Picture yourself finally disposing of the hipster pants that made your bottom look like a squashed doughnut. Sweet Lord! Trends have become so prevalent and so well promoted that women forget to question them or even consider what suits them anymore.

I’ve known since I was 13 that I look hideous in jeans. Resistant to peer pressure, I’ve never bought a pair. Pear-shaped women need A-line skirts and that is just one of the reasons that one lady’s classic look is another’s fashion fiasco. Look at your body, look at the list and then just say no to the clothes and beauty trends that are making you look fatter, older or just plain sillier than you need to.

Ten whopping great fashion don’ts:

1. Killer shoes: Sarah Jessica Parker swears by her Monolo Blahniks. The Sex and the City shoe is a pointy sling-back with a thin, shaft-like heel that now punctures every sidewalk on the country. Trouble is, these are spring shoes. Wear them with a cocktail dress in May. Forget them in the snow, in the rain and in the office. This spring the flat is back and thank goodness. Only Barbie has an in-step arch that high.

2. Tortured blow-outs: Super flat, poker-straight hair looks aging on anyone over 23. It’s “wedding hair” and a ‘do that looks “done”, especially on girls who are naturally curly. The damage of drying hair at high heat daily or literally ironing it out with chemical straighteners and weird salon processes isn’t worth the dollars. Try something looser, wavier and altogether more natural. Straight hair is so darn serious!

3. Lab coat whites: The white knee-length overcoat needs to go back to Mary Tyler Moore’s closet. Prissy, starchy and almost impossible to match, this Princess piece has been popular with movie stars on the red carpet. From a distance they look like bathrobes. Wedding day only!

4. Sticky pouts: If small insects get stuck on your lip gloss, it’s time to lighten up. Pop stars with gooey gobs have given the gloss trend a bad name. Blend a lighter beeswax-based Chapstick with your favorite lipstick for sheer color coverage that is sensuous but not sleazy.

5. Plucked-bare brows: Skinny eyebrows were huge in the early ’90s. Linda Evangelista had curving arches higher than Ronald McDonald’s but she had expert makeup artists filling in the gaps between lid and brow bone. Last year the skinny brow returned with a 1930s twist. Teamed with Marcel waves and cherry-red lipstick, the new naked brow had gangster moll charm.

Worn by Maggie Gyllenhaal and other ingenues the no-brow looks winsome. On the rest of us thirty-something mortals—under office light, or with a hangover, or a tight pony tail and a light frown—well, it’s just much less pretty. Be wise, go bright-eyed and bushy browed.

6. Frumpy cardigan jackets: Who came up with those long sweater jackets with hoods that sag down over the knees and belt at the waist with a long strip of woven wooly fabric? I want to slap them. This is maternity wear, or ski-bunny wear or something to run naked to the bathroom in the middle of the night in. But it’s not one bit flattering!

7. Skirts with pants: One barely needs to explain the sin here. Californian art teachers, models without bottoms and Bjork are permitted this combo, but only them. If your legs are cold, crochet some leg warmers and wear them over a sexy high-heeled boot. Deliberately crafty looking clothes look best on tall wafty blondes, everyone else should approach with caution.

8. Pants with heels: Let the fashion editors of Manhattan take me out and shoot me, but I am done with the ‘trouser leg sprouting a towering spiky heel at its cuff’ phenomenon. What is the point of wearing $700 Jimmy Choo or Gucci boots and concealing them beneath your jeans or tweed pants? Conversely, what is the logic of wearing pants for comfort and killer heels for glamour (and pain)? Something’s gotta give. Try cowboy boots or T-bar Mary Janes instead.

9. The wrong thong: G-string underwear used to be the provenance of strippers, gymnasts and Italian movie stars. Now your daughter and your Mom are wearing them. This is lingerie guilty of too much information. Peeking over trouser waistbands they look trampy. Visible under a tight skirt they look too skimpy. Great-grandma had a better idea: If you want to avoid visible panty line, try a silk camisole or simply opt for looser clothing altogether. Anything that’s tight enough or sheer enough to show the elastic of your knickers isn’t really fashion. It’s cruelty.

10. Blonde highlights: When spring comes a million heads across the country bob up adorned with silver foils. The cost of being artificially sun-kissed is high and the results are not always that divine. If you want to look like a TV anchor woman…go blonde. But if you want to really stand out, try a richer variation of your natural shade. Blondes don’t always have more fun.

The return of the ‘Curly Girl’
How to make the most of your twisty tresses

Straight hair has become the uniform of 21st century beauty. Jennifer Aniston made her name with it. Gwyneth Paltrow won’t be seen in public without it. Julia Roberts hasn’t made a movie with waves for years and now it seems that every woman of every race is busy erasing, relaxing, blow drying and processing her kink.

But it’s not for everyone. On very young girls it looks conformist and conservative. On women over 30 with long chins or angular features it looks aging. And on African American and Latin women it evokes an era when cookie-cutter hairdos and wigs ala The Supremes were the norm. Curly hair and wavy locks have been relegated to special occasions. But why not wear them everyday?

Lorraine Massey, the twisty-tressed author of Curly Girl: The Handbook, argues that curly hair is not only sexy, it’s also way healthier than blowtorching your head every morning before work or applying savage chemicals to get poker-straight hair. Wearing your hair curly means no longer having to fight the elements, apply heated rollers or pull at a stubborn cowlick minutes before a big meeting in an attempt to look chic.

Curly hair opens up fashion possibilities too. It looks romantic, it looks relaxed and it frames and softens the face like an angelic halo. To return to your inner Botticelli angel takes three steps: The first is to identify the type of curl you have. The second is to know how to have it cut properly. The third is a daily care regime that gives you goddess bounce instead of metal-head mop or freaky frizz.

No one, according to the new curl liberationists, has bad hair, just hair with special needs. Curly hair is more porous than straight and absorbs the harmful detergents in shampoo like a sponge. The more dehydrated and heat damaged the hair cuticle, the duller (and frizzier) your hair looks. One of the best things for curly hair, according to Massey, is to stop using shampoo and to wash instead with a small amount of conditioner just once a week, with warm water rinses in between. Curls love moisture and spring back to their natural form when not loading down with product.

“Occasional chemical treatments such a dye and highlights are less harmful than daily abuse,” according to Massey. “One week at the monastery, one week in Vegas,” she says, laughing, “Curly and wavy hair care is all a matter of balance.”

For curly girls, less product is more, says Massey, who runs the SoHo salon, Devachan. Less detergent, less heavy chemicals and less shampoo actually applied in the shower. Just half a teaspoon worked into the roots and scalp is enough — hair itself never needs to be foamed up. EVER.

With those basic radical reversals you can go fast-forward with your curls. And join the ranks of the curly pinup girls: Nicole Kidman, former “ER” players Gloria Reuben and Julianna Margulies, Keri Russell of “Felicity” fame, Sarah Jessica Parker and Julia Roberts.

The curl index

Here’s how to care for your kind of curls.

1. Corkscrew curls are tightly wound ringlets that have a tendency to stick straight up, get frizzy and feel extra-dry. They need a lot of moisture and half a teaspoon of conditioner only for each weekly wash. Air-dry upside down by patting with a towel. No squeezing please!

2. Botticelli curls come in different sizes and are easily weighed down. They need less conditioner than corkscrew curls but can be dried the same way. When pressed for time, use a diffuser (a big nozzle that disperses hot air) on a low setting.

3. Wavy curls are loose and full and sometimes lie down and play dead. Natural waves go frizzy in the rain or humidity and sometimes make the hair go flat on the crown. This breed of curl loves to be washed and dried like Botticelli curls and given extra help at the crown with gel, pin curls and regular spritzing and scrunching throughout the day.

4. Afro curls can be tight and kinky or loose and curled depending on the tightness of the hair spiral. The curly revolution for black hair has been the return of the Afro and natural styles. But whether you wear extensions or a crew cut ala Erykah Badu the most important hair care tip for African American hair is hydration. Winter is hard on Afro curly girls. Weekly oil treatments for the scalp and resisting the urge to apply heat keeps hair supple and unfrizzed. The trick with corn rows and other tightly-braided curly dos is to tend to the scalp, making sure that hair is not strained to the breaking point and that the roots are well conditioned with every rinse. Conditioner instead of shampoo is recommended.

Lingerie fashion can be positively fascistic when it comes to the breast. The modern bra can make every bosom a perfect, foamy sphere.

While the bottom ala mode jiggles freely in a G-string thong, the breasts are tightly confined — more so than in the 30s when camisoles were the vogue, more so than in our mothers’ day, when women bounced freely in 70s tank tops, and more so than in the early 90s when bias-cut dresses invited us to wear no bra at all.

I myself am addicted to the demi-cup underwire bra. When I take it off at night I feel a dreadful deflation, a loss of drama and spice and oomph. Like so many women, I identify with my bra-shaped breasts so much better than my real and modest ones. Like wearing the same makeup everyday or sticking to the same old perfume, your breasts can fall into a routine…same old bra, same old shape. But the truth is that boobs like a little variety in dress and in undress and that we can be as big and brassy or as soft and sexy as we like, it just takes a little more imagination.

Building a bra wardrobe

The first time I saw those bras with invisible straps made of sheer plastic I laughed. Now I’ve come around. Asymmetrical dresses and tops with a single strap demand a more creative method of support. One bra really won’t do for all. Here are some building blocks for your modern bra wardrobe:

1. A crossover bra for halter dresses.
2. A soft stretchy bra for t-shirts
3. Wonder bra for “go-get-em” hot dates.
4. A nice white lace bra for the first Monday of every week.

A sheer cashmere sweater demands a bra with few seams and a cable knit looks pretty awful with a padded bra. Next time you shop for a bra, take a swag of tops along and be generous with yourself. A good bra can make you look 10 pounds lighter and a good deal younger.

Buying up big

The seduction of instant cleavage, a gorgeous pin-up silhouette is powerful. Sometimes a pair of heels and a killer bra is like romantic jet fuel. But like strong perfume it’s not a look for every day and over-use of the uber-bosom bra starts to negate the natural beauty of a less superhuman set of breasts.

A “body” bra is like having silicone implants, the breasts look much bigger and they DO NOT move. Foxy in an angora sweater or a low-cut dress, these foamy shells give you porn star curves but really draw attention to the chest. I was addicted to these bras all winter until I started to notice girls on the street with exactly the same look up-front, the generic “Pamela” rack. There’s not a lot of room for personality, erect nipples or even playful jiggling. In some ways this style of bra mimics the silicone implants of film-stars and lingerie models, there is something impersonal and almost insulting about that ideal.

If you want the vavoom, but don’t want to wear a bionic booster bra with chunky foam or lacy little pads sewn in you could try those slithery little sacs made of silicone or saline. Way less dangerous than implants, these chicken-fillet-shaped boosters slip into the bra and curve around the natural shape of your breast. They feel cold at first but by the end of the day are strangely warm and familiar.

I tried a pair of bio-form boobs for a day and felt about five months pregnant. Unlike a padded bra they had a natural weight to them which felt nice. They say this is how Julia Roberts put the oomph into her Erin Brockovich corsets and I believe it. Suddenly you have extra meat under each bosom without puppy fat anywhere else. It was fun to heft about as a 36DD but I would have much preferred these sneaky treats at the age of 13 when it really mattered. If wearing falsies teaches you anything it is the sensation of having much larger breasts which, as many women will tell you, can be both a blessing and a burden.

Big alternatives

For the larger woman taking a break from overly constricting bras might involve some creativity. Most lingerie designed for you looks like armor. And fashion is generally designed for smaller chests.

My girlfriend Marta never lets her fabulous bustage get in the way of being chic. She wears clothes designed for extra support; leotards, velvet lace up corsets and stretch lycra tops. She also refuses to wear “sensible” Mama-style bras. Many prettier styles give just as much support. Big breasts don’t need a generic bra but a wardrobe of styles for different outfits and moods, just like smaller breasted girls. For breezy sports models and sexy alternatives to the maternity model go to biggerbras.com or try a lycra camisole for a day of relative freedom. Support is important, but so is accepting your real shape and a week without underwire might be just the trick to discovering a more natural outline. For more information on pretty things in larger sizes call Big Girl’s Bras etc… (972) 475 8110. The lacy goodies on their website look like lingerie not advanced engineering.

Dressing for less

Going braless is not just aesthetic it’s political. No one has jiggled defiantly since they burned the bra back in ‘72 and since then fashion has changed too. Lycra and mesh t-shirts mold to pumped up cleavage, sheer fabrics bare the nipple. But there are ways to dress for less bosom and less coverage. Cameron Diaz and Kate Hudson frequently go without; they simply emphasize other parts of their bodies: a great collar bone, lovely arms, a graceful neck. Making your wardrobe less breast-centric involves looking for softer styles. Vintage dresses from the 30s and 40s are very sympathetic and so is the lingerie of that era. A silk camisole slip is modest but sexy. Worn under a jacket it is sensual rather than overt sexiness. Suddenly Marilyn breasts seem a lot less chic.

How can I tell if my baby has an ear infection?

The easiest way to tell whether your baby has an ear infection (also known as acute otitis media) — or any other illness, for that matter — is a change in her mood. If she turns fussy, or starts crying more than usual, you should be on the lookout for a problem. If she develops a fever (whether slight or high) you have another big clue. Ear infections tend to strike after a common cold or sinus infection, so keep that in mind too. You may also notice the following symptoms:

An ear infection results when fluid and bacteria build up in the area around your baby’s eardrum. Normally any fluid that enters this area leaves pretty quickly through the Eustachian tube (which connects the middle ear to the back of the nose and throat) when your baby yawns or swallows. But if the Eustachian tube is blocked — common during colds, sinus infections, even allergy season — it traps the fluid in the middle ear. Bacteria like to grow in dark, warm, wet places, so a fluid-filled ear becomes the perfect breeding ground. As the infection worsens, so does the swelling in and around the eardrum, and, as a result, the pain. Fever develops as your baby’s body attempts to fight the infection.

Babies are particularly susceptible to ear infections because their Eustachian tubes are short (about 1/2 an inch) and horizontal. As they grow to adulthood, the tube triples in length to 1 1/2 inches and become more vertical, so fluid can drain more easily. Ear infections are one of the most common childhood illnesses. While there are no statistics on how many babies get them, the American Academy of Pediatrics expects that most children will have gotten at least one ear infection by the time they turn 3.

When should I call the doctor?

Call the doctor at the first sign of an ear infection. He’ll ask you to come in so he can take a look in your baby’s ear with an instrument called an otoscope. An eardrum that’s red, bulging and possibly draining is likely infected. He may also look to see whether the eardrum is moving using a pneumatic otoscope, which releases a brief puff of air into the ear. If it’s not moving, you have one more clue that fluid is collecting in the middle ear and it may be infected.

How will the doctor treat my baby’s ear infection?

Though recent research shows that many ear infections eventually clear up on their own without any treatment, when it comes to babies, doctors will always reach for an antibiotic. “With infants it’s better to err on the side of caution and prescribe something,” says Robert Ruben, an otolaryngologist (ear, nose and throat doctor) at Montefiore Medical Center in New York. The antibiotic of choice is amoxycillin, which parents refer to as “the pink stuff.” In addition, your doctor may recommend that you give your baby children’s acetaminophen or ibuprofen to help relieve any pain caused by the infection.

Make sure you give your baby her entire prescription of antibiotic and follow up with an ear re-check a few weeks later so the doctor can gauge whether the medicine did its job. Don’t hesitate to call your doctor if your baby seems to be getting worse or hasn’t improved significantly after a few days on the antibiotic. He may want to switch the antibiotic or examine your child again.

What can I do to prevent ear infections in the future?
Babies who attend day care or playgroups with other children are more prone to getting ear infections because they are exposed to more germs. That doesn’t mean you should keep your baby home all the time. That’s not fun or practical and even if you managed to do it, your baby would still catch an illness here or there. Instead, wash your hands (and your baby’s hands) often, and try these prevention ideas:

• Keep your baby up to date on her vaccines. They help prevent certain illnesses that can lead to an ear infection. For example, the Hib vaccine has helped tremendously in reducing the number of ear infections in babies, and the new pneumococcal vaccine can help prevent them as well. If your baby has suffered repeated ear infections, especially after bouts with the flu, you may want to consider an annual flu vaccine, but talk to your doctor first. Only children over 6 months old can get a flu shot.
• Breastfeed your baby for a minimum of six months. A recent study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Food and Drug Administration, which appeared in the journal Pediatrics, showed that children who are breastfed for the first six months of life are less likely to develop ear infections. In fact, the risk of ear infections was 70 percent greater in formula-fed babies. Practitioners such as Ruben believe that mothers transfer certain immune-building antibodies to their babies through breast milk. However, those antibodies seem to decrease after the six-month mark.
• Limit your baby’s exposure to tobacco smoke. Even a weekend spent in a house with a smoker can significantly harm a baby and increase her chances of getting an ear infection. Tobacco smoke seems to suppress the immune system, making it more difficult for your baby to fight off infection.

My baby gets repeated ear infections. Can ear tubes help?

Babies with multiple ear infections — which, for many children, is actually one ear infection that lingers on for months despite antibiotic treatment — may be good candidates for ear tubes. This procedure, known as tympanostomy, is the most common surgery performed in North America on children under 4, according to a study in the Canadian Medical Association Journal. In the United States alone doctors perform roughly one million ear-tube insertions each year.

During the procedure, which is done under general anesthesia, an otolaryngologist makes a tiny incision in the child’s eardrum and inserts a millimeters-long tube into the slit. These tubes act as a vent, letting air in and fluid out so bacteria can’t flourish. “It helps the Eustachian tube work better,” says Ruben.

Your pediatrician may suggest this surgical solution because a baby with persistent fluid in his ears (or otitis media with effusion) is not only a prime candidate for repeated ear infections, but also for hearing loss. Babies who have trouble hearing may suffer delays in language development.

Still, the procedure is considered controversial and there is little consensus among doctors on whether it’s really necessary. Studies have shown that some babies who’ve had recurrent ear infections are a little behind when it comes to school readiness. But somewhere between 2 and 5 the connection between chronic ear infections and decreased school readiness disappears, argues Joanne E. Roberts, a senior scientist at the Frank Porter Graham Child Development Center at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. Children with chronic ear infections eventually perform on par with their peers who didn’t battle ear troubles in the first few years.

What should you do? Talk to your doctor and weigh the pros and cons for you and your baby. Unfortunately, there’s no definitive answer to the ear tube question yet.

Are ear infections ever serious?

They can be. A severe or untreated infection can break your baby’s eardrum and flood her ear canal. It doesn’t happen very often, but it’s one of the reasons it’s so important to have a doctor examine your baby’s ear if you think she may have an infection. Repeated ear infections can also lead to hearing loss and scarring. In very rare cases, untreated ear infections can lead to an infection of the skull behind the ear (mastoiditis), or meningitis.

Diana Rigg sported them in The Avengers along with her leather catsuits. On Audrey Hepburn, they created the perfect mix of pixie and sophisticate. Now Renée Zellweger is resurrecting the look in her new movie Down with Love. Lined lids are everywhere right now, and we mean lined. Not smudged or smoky, but drawn-on and definite. And, as if that’s not enough, neutral eye makeup colors are getting edged out by peacock hues. There are two approaches you can take to the extreme-eye trend: Go into denial and cling to that brown eye shadow, or try out some wild new colors and have some fun.

Mally Roncal, Sephora’s celebrity makeup artist, works with clients like Jennifer Lopez and Kelly Osbourne. She’s a big advocate for having a good time with this look, no matter what your age.

Extreme eyes for 20-somethings

“’50s liquid eyeliner is such a big thing right now,” says Roncal. “I love the way that looks.” Experiment with slightly toned-down versions of runway applications. You might not want to paint on multiple fake lashes à la DKNY, but defined liner with a Cleopatra curve at the eye’s outer edge is fun. If you have liner-application anxiety, Roncal advises doing it this way: drink your coffee after you put on eye makeup, and rest your elbow on the table to steady your hand during application.

If you go big with the eyes, put a shiny gloss on the lips instead of something matte, and tone down the blush. Too much of everything will age a youthful face prematurely.

Extreme eyes for 30-somethings

To keep the look modern and fresh, experiment with liquid eyeliners in different colors. “I love liner in grays, blues and lavenders. You’re getting the trend, but it’s not too crazy or over the top,” Roncal says.

Speaking of color—how exactly do you approach the wild eye shadows that are available right now? “If it’s a bright color, do it as a wash, as opposed to opaque.” Nars currently offers a duo called “Rated R”—acid green and shocking blue. Roncal insists these colors will work if you wear them correctly: “It’s really gorgeous; it’s very wearable, if you do it as a wash.”

Extreme eyes for 40-somethings

“Still do the cat eyes, it’s a glamorous, timeless look,” says Roncal. Today’s liner formulas are much nicer than the ones you nicked from your mom years ago; they go on thin and dry as quick as a wink. Don’t neglect your lashes as you go crazy with the color—always curl, and always apply mascara to both the top and bottom lashes.

Consider some of the metallic liners that are available right now—Naturistics has a line called Chrome that will edge your eyes with a golden glint. Don’t let the low price ($1.84) or the shiny bottle scare you. This trend is a perfect opportunity to try wild colors at low-end prices. Then, if something works, splurge on a luxe version of the same shade.

Extreme eyes for 50-somethings

The wonderful thing about liquid eyeliner is that once you paint it on your lid, the stuff stays put. It doesn’t wander off into the various smile lines you’ve earned. Roncal says that when she works with clients in their 50s, she loves to use high-quality powder eye shadows instead of creams. Creams tend to gather in creases, she says, whereas powders keep the look smooth and fresh. “I love pastels—Christian Dior is doing a quad right now with lavender, blue, pink and green that’s wonderful.” Lighter shadow colors and a sheer touch on lips will also help avoid a harsh “Mrs. Robinson” look.

This season’s eyes aren’t subtle, but they’re not meant to shock either. Roncal sums the bright-eyed trend this way: “I don’t know what’s going on in the world, but everyone wants to be pretty right now.”